Mental Health – Equip Yourself With The Tools To Help Your Child
Mental Health Problems Are Being Identified In Children As Young As Five Years Old
– Equip Yourself With The Tools To Help Your Child
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#f5f5f5″][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”left” animation_intensity_slide=”10%”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_margin=”0px||10px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”]an ever growing challenge
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider divider_weight=”6px” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”13%” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.2″ custom_padding=”||0px|||”]Mental health challenges are on the rise, and these problems are showing themselves from a young age. I’m going to share some insight with you on how my team and I have been tackling this ever-growing, ever worrying challenge and look at what we can ALL do to make a difference.
How will I do this? Well I’m going to teach you how to recognise when you or your child is feeding what I call the cycle of doom! Plus provide you with the knowledge and transferable skills to end this vicious cycle, both at home and in the classroom.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”right” animation_intensity_slide=”10%”][et_pb_image src=”https://myperformancelearning.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/angry-annoyed-coffee-52608-1-768×513-1.jpg” title_text=”angry-annoyed-coffee-52608-1-768×513″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_enable_color=”off”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.4″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”right” animation_intensity_slide=”8%”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″ custom_margin=”0px||10px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”]When Intellect Goes Up, Emotion Goes Down – What Does This Mean?
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider divider_weight=”6px” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”6%” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″]How many times have you gotten into a disagreement with someone and they’ve won? In other words, they’ve said something that shut you down and you’ve reacted so emotionally that logic and rationale went out the window? You stormed off, emotionally charged and then as soon as you have calmed down (when everything has blown over and everyone’s forgiven and forgotten), all of a sudden you think of the best comeback. It’s at this moment, we have a second chance to re-enter the cycle of doom. So, you storm back into the room, and launch that comeback, meanwhile, the other person is going, ‘whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I thought this was all over. We just apologised? I thought everything was fine.’ At this point, you calm down and allow your intellect to kick in, suddenly you’re able to articulate what you need to say.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#f5f5f5″][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”left” animation_intensity_slide=”9%”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″ custom_margin=”0px||10px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”]How Did I End Up In The Cycle Of Doom?
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider divider_weight=”6px” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”6%” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″]What causes someone to fall into the death trap that is the cycle of doom? We all encounter challenges in our lives, even in areas that give us the most enjoyment, but we’re not always able to recognise these challenges with intellect. As a result, challenges can turn into much bigger problems than they were in the first place. This is especially true for example for a child when they have these feelings towards a subject in school they are struggling in or that they previously enjoyed. This can push them into the cycle of doom, feeling overwhelmed and pushing intellect even further out of reach.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″][et_pb_image src=”https://myperformancelearning.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/adolescent-adult-beauty-459971-e1561558675622-scaled.jpg” title_text=”adolescent-adult-beauty-459971-e1561558675622″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_enable_color=”off”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.4″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”right” animation_intensity_slide=”8%”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″ width=”100%” custom_margin=”0px||10px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”]The Comfort Zone Disruption
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider divider_weight=”6px” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”6.2%” min_height=”18px” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″]Let’s say we’ve prevented overwhelm and we find ourselves in the cycle of intelligence. We are consistently spending more time feeling calm, feeling prepared, feeling courageous, feeling the sense of positive anticipation and thoroughness. This is the cycle of Intelligence. It feels good. But life doesn’t always go to plan; challenges are inevitable; this is where the growth begins.
Let’s take an example, say you child is in school and they get a negative piece of feedback from a piece of homework, or, a subject became harder than they anticipated, or they’ve got something wrong, and feel themselves slipping.
Parents, how many times have you seen this? It’s at this point, we stop looking within and look for extrinsic factors that we can effectively look to blame instead of remaining calm, we lose control, and anger begins, we allow ourselves to return to the holiday of doom.
We find ourselves saying “gosh, I wish my child had the previous teacher because they got my child and the only difference in the subject is the change in the teacher as they have progressed through the year so far.”
You feel helpless, you don’t know how to help your child, you don’t know what to do because you can’t change the teacher, then suddenly the negativity turns to the subject as a whole. That’s the problem, we show an emotional reaction to our children, even as adults, we allow emotion to take over. Ultimately, and with the greatest of respect and compassion, I say it’s not also the teacher, it’s that the child is responding to the subject content more emotionally than intellectually. What have I just said? I’ve used two very important words here and that’s what we’re going to focus on, they are intellect and emotion.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#f5f5f5″ min_height=”658px”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.4″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”left” animation_intensity_slide=”9%”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″ custom_margin=”0px||10px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”]But How Do I Help My Child?
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider divider_weight=”6px” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”6%” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″]We have to encourage our children to adapt to changes because we all realise in reality, we only hold ourselves back. Yes, maybe the last teacher understood my child better, but we need to look at how we allow this blame to manifest itself into anger and resistance. We need to find a way to learn a different method or help our children find a solution. That’s how the human psyche works, and that’s what’s happening.
When we think we’re potentially getting the overwhelmed feeling creeping in, it isn’t necessarily overwhelm because we’ve dealt with it. We’re actually in control of the subject. What’s happening is our intellect has dropped, and therefore our emotion is increasing. Like I said earlier, when emotion goes up, intellect goes down. So, what do we need to be aware of? If we take a child in school as an example – if the subject is too hard, and they don’t understand a topic in class or they’re studying a module in a subject that they’re finding difficult, the only thing they and you need to be aware of is their emotional state towards that subject. Because if their emotion goes up, their intellect is going to go down. If they don’t deal with that, guess what’s going to happen? They’re going to start to feel overwhelmed.
[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ background_color=”#f5f5f5″ custom_padding=”17px|||||”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.4″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”left” animation_intensity_slide=”9%”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″ custom_margin=”0px||10px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”]What Can We Do?
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider divider_weight=”6px” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”5.9%” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][/et_pb_divider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″ background_color=”#ffffff” custom_margin=”-66px|||||”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″ custom_margin=”-52px|auto||auto||”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″ transform_scale=”56%|56%” transform_translate=”-85px|-101px” border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” border_color_all=”rgba(0,0,0,0)”][et_pb_image src=”https://myperformancelearning.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/reason1-1.png” title_text=”reason1″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ transform_translate=”-96px|4px” animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”left” animation_intensity_slide=”9%”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″ width=”100%”]Identify The Tipping Point
This is the only tipping point that’s going to cause us to enter the cycle of doom.
Remember, the critical state in the cycle of intelligence is intellect. The key state in the cycle of doom is, you guessed it…emotion. So, the more emotional we are towards our challenges, the more we open the door for the feeling of overwhelm to creep in and therefore do all of its nasty work in getting us back in that cycle of doom that we worked so hard to escape.
So, always be aware of the emotional reactions that may be occurring in any situation. For a child this may be how we feel in a subject that we find difficult or a subject that we might usually enjoy but are now struggling with. Think about it intellectually, why have our feelings changed – maybe because the difficulty of the content has increased and we’re feeling more anxious towards the subject? As a result, we’re reacting emotionally as opposed to calmly with intellect.
When we think we’re potentially getting the overwhelmed feeling creeping in, it isn’t necessarily overwhelm because we’ve dealt with it. We’re actually in control of the subject. What’s happening is our intellect has dropped, and therefore our emotion is increasing. Like I said earlier, when emotion goes up, intellect goes down. So, what do we need to be aware of? If we take a child in school as an example – if the subject is too hard, and they don’t understand a topic in class or they’re studying a module in a subject that they’re finding difficult, the only thing they and you need to be aware of is their emotional state towards that subject. Because if their emotion goes up, their intellect is going to go down. If they don’t deal with that, guess what’s going to happen? They’re going to start to feel overwhelmed.
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider show_divider=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.4″][/et_pb_divider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″ background_color=”#ffffff” custom_margin=”-66px|||||”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″ custom_margin=”-52px|auto||auto||” custom_padding=”||0px|||”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″ transform_scale=”56%|56%” transform_translate=”-85px|-101px” border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” border_color_all=”rgba(0,0,0,0)”][et_pb_image src=”https://myperformancelearning.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/reason2.png” title_text=”reason2″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ transform_translate=”-96px|4px” animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”left” animation_intensity_slide=”9%”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″ width=”100%”]Check Yourself
If your child is studying a subject that they feel tense and stressed about, that they’ve got anxiety towards, we need to help them to ask themselves– ‘am I reacting emotionally right now?’. If the answer is yes, help them take a moment and look at why – let intellect kick in and overtake the emotions.
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider show_divider=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.4″][/et_pb_divider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″ background_color=”#ffffff” custom_margin=”-66px|||||”][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″ min_height=”208px” custom_margin=”-52px|auto||auto||” custom_padding=”||0px|||”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″ transform_scale=”56%|56%” transform_translate=”-85px|-101px” border_radii=”on|10px|10px|10px|10px” border_color_all=”rgba(0,0,0,0)”][et_pb_image src=”https://myperformancelearning.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/reason3.png” title_text=”reason3″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″][/et_pb_image][/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.2″ transform_translate=”-96px|4px” animation_style=”slide” animation_direction=”left” animation_intensity_slide=”9%”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″ width=”100%”]Identify What Causes Doom
A helpful exercise for your child that I devised is to get them to write down all of their subjects and allocate each a score from zero to five on how overwhelmed that subject makes them feel. Then get them to ask themselves what precisely in that subject is causing them to feel overwhelmed? We must break down our challenges with intellect, the sooner we can identify our weaknesses, the sooner we can resolve them before emotion takes hold of us.
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider show_divider=”off” _builder_version=”4.4.4″][/et_pb_divider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″ background_color=”#f5f5f5″][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.4″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″ custom_margin=”||12px|||”]In Summary
[/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider divider_weight=”6px” _builder_version=”4.4.2″ width=”5.9%” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false”][/et_pb_divider][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.4.4″ custom_margin=”-30px|auto||auto||”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.4.4″][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.4.4″]Mental health problems are identified as young as five years old and 75% of them are established by the time we are 24 years old. The conditioning of that is taking place because of the cycle of doom. What else can I feel aside from this feeling of anger and sadness and potentially fear, hurt and guilt? Intelligence, which is calmness, courage, preparedness, anticipation and thoroughness.
The good news is we can ALL get there, we can all use our intellect, and we can solve our challenges together. Every human on this planet has weaknesses and difficulties; no one of us is alone in facing challenges.
So, this is what I’d like you to focus on and help your child focus on as I wrap this up:
- What is causing me to react emotionally?
- Am I reacting emotionally to this right now?
Just being aware of these questions will help avoid the cycle of doom and the potential of any challenge compounding over the years and becoming conditioned to negative thought patterns. You can break the cycle.
Get in touch if you have any questions and remember, we are all in this together. Your strength could be someone else’s weakness, but there’s always help. Together, let’s help each other to recognise when we’re struggling, and help each of us stop falling into the cycle of doom.
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